Archive: max lance

The Catcher in the Rye – High School Summary

Max Lance Stand-up at the Comedy Store

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Summary

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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, is about a kid and his slave going on an adventure through the bastion of racial tolerance known as pre-Civil War Missouri. It’s the sequel to the Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Watch here or at High School Summary.

The Next Hiker Who Doesn’t Respond to My “Hello” Is Getting Nudged Off This Cliff

I know we visit nature to escape the trappings of work and city life. We want to get away from crowds and people, have time to ourselves, rejuvenate and embrace the silence of a beaten trail. We take a day trip to spot wild animals, see the desert in bloom, photograph spectacular views and hike to distant waterfalls. But if you walk past me and don’t respond to my cheesy hiking greetings, I’m just saying… Watch your step.

 

I will settle for any kind of acknowledgement that you and I exist together on this dirt pathway. I have pulled out all the stops to welcome your arrival. I offered a high-five, said, “Good morning, super hiker friend,” and held up a sign that reads, Greetings Mountain Man! I expect nothing less in return. If you breeze past me as though I’m part of the shrubbery, you should be very aware that we’re traipsing along an extremely steep cliff.

 

You can’t be too cool for my warm welcomes because I have done everything in my power to make hiking uncool for everyone. My fanny pack is secured tightly, I have stood in the same place for an hour trying to refold my paper map, my hat was a Valentine’s Day present that says, I love you. And you think that you can walk past this kind of love and not reciprocate my hug?

 

It’s just you and me up there. I move to the side to let you pass and raise a hand in the air for a high-five. We’re in this together. We’re hiking, climbing, conquering and you leave me hanging? You’re doing to me exactly what the treasonous regiment of the Scottish Army in Braveheart did when they ditched William Wallace mid-battle.

 

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The Great Gatsby Summary

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Upcoming Stand-up Shows

Friday March 9, 2012

8 p.m. Elderberries Cafe, 7564 W Sunset (near Curson in Hollywood).
$5 cover plus $5 food/drink minimum

Tuesday March 20, 2012
8 p.m. Ha Ha Cafe Comedy Club, 5010 Lankershim Blvd. (North Hollywood)
No cover charge, 2 drink minimum

Saturday March 24, 2012
9.30 p.m. Magic Bag, Little Modern Theater, 6476 Santa Monica Blvd. (at the Complex in H’wood)
No cover charge

Wednesday March 28, 2012
8.30 p.m.  Joker’s Joint, 8771 W. Pico Blvd (near Robertson).
$7 cover charge, no drink min.

Tuesday April 3, 2012
8.30 p.m.  Big Show Comedy, Hollywood Studios Bar & Grill 6122 W Sunset (at Gower in H’wood).
No cover charge, 2 drink minimum ($3 beers available).

Saturday April 21, 2012
8 p.m. Hand Shucked, Moving Arts Theater, 1822 Hyperion Ave. (Silver Lake)
$5 cover includes free beer.

 

Buy Crazy Girls

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Have you ever gone on a first date with a total psycho? How about someone who showed you the satchel of cocaine she keeps under her pillow? Or takes you to Bible study to convert you? Or tells you her date rape story in horrific detail?

My first book, Crazy Girls, is available for sale on the Amazon Kindle Singles. It debuted at number one on the Kindle Singles Bestseller List and 11th for all Kindle sales in its first weekend. Costs less than a dollar and takes an hour to read. Crazy Girls is being reviewed as “Required reading for anyone who has ever had a terrible date…” and “An amazing read from first line to last.”

Any support, kind reviews, tweeting and Facebook posts and tremendously needed and appreciated. These things entirely depend on word-of-mouth, so any promotion is very generous. Check out the book here.

My Best Life Prospect At The Moment Is That My Girlfriend Is The Secret Millionaire

Facing an array of failure on the cusp of my college graduation and impending one-hundred-and-twenty-thousand dollars of student loan debt at the age of twenty-six, my life options have never been more clear. Through a detailed analysis of employment potential, career prospects and quality-of-life projections, the only thing I have going for myself at the moment is hoping that my girlfriend of six months is actually one of those secret millionaires.

Most people might say something stupid like, “The love of your awesome girlfriend is worth more than money,” which is completely true if I wasn’t such a greedy bastard. She is all that I’ve got right now. And I mean that in the most heartfelt way, provided that she is pretending to be a hard-working actor to test my devotion and worthiness of her millions. Read more

Which Childhood Nickelodeon Show Defines You Flow Chart

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Vancouver Vacation Video – Part Two

Second part of the trip to Vancouver and Vancouver Island. You can watch part one here. This video rounds up the BC Ferry, Victoria and Pacific Rim National Park.

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