Archive: world war ii

Jurassic World’s Indominus Rex Makes the Same Mistake as Hitler on the Eastern Front

Indominus Rex

There are plenty of spoilers in this, but Jurassic World is part of a franchise that just grossed over $1 Billion worldwide, so if you haven’t seen the movie, what do you think happens in the end, the humans survive or the dinosaurs kill everyone?

In Jurassic World, geneticists engineer a super dinosaur, the Indominus Rex, which breaks out of its cage and goes on a killing spree. Not only is the beast nearly indestructible, but it’s also smarter than your average dinosaur. And by average dinosaur I mean, of course, the ABC sitcom Dinosaurs. Indominus Rex sets traps for her victims, digs out her tracking device, hides from people and outsmarts enemies. Indominus Rex even talks to the other dinosaurs, and not in a casual chit-chat, “How are the kids,” kind of way, but about doing some additional damage.

The most frustrating part of Jurassic World is they have this super smart dinosaur, one that’s completely unstoppable. She’s the greatest enemy the world has ever seen, and the Indominus Rex goes on to commit the exact same mistake made by Adolph Hitler on the Eastern Front of World War Two.

In 1941, Nazi Germany controls almost the entire European continent. France, Poland, Belgium and the Netherlands have all fallen and have puppet governments controlled by the Nazis. Spain and Italy are allies. Great Britain is holding on by a thread and the U.S. hasn’t entered the war yet. In Jurassic World, the Indominus Rex kills everything in sight, outsmarts her captors and is virtually indestructible. They’re both at the height of their power.

Hitler has hardly any threat to his empire in 1941. England is struggling to stay alive and can’t muster a credible counter-attack. The United States is wary of entering the war in Europe. The only country that can pose any sort of opposition is the Soviet Union. But Hitler already put a plan in place to keep them at bay. Hitler avoids a two-front war by signing the German-Soviet Nonaggression Pact (officially the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, for you Nazi-Soviet Paleontologists out there).

This is where the Indominus Rex stands after making a truce with the raptors at the midpoint of Jurassic World. The dinosaur has zero enemies, total control of the island and there’s no way for the humans to mount a credible counter-attack without blowing up everyone on the island at a tremendous loss of life.

Hitler and the Indominus Rex proceed to make the exact same mistake. It’s not so much that Hitler breaks the German-Soviet non-aggression treaty, but that the Nazis do so with brutal violence killing everything in their path. And then just a few decades later the bad dinosaur makes the exact same mistake as Hitler. When are these dinosaurs going to learn?

When the Nazis invade the area that’s now Ukraine in 1941, Hitler actually gets greeted with fanfare in parts of the country. Some of the inhabitants see Hitler as a potential savior from Joseph Stalin. When Indominus Rex breaks out of her cage and wreaks havoc on Jurassic World, I’m sure there are a couple dinosaurs who are happy. There must be a few who think they’ll be freed from the life of captivity created by humans. Humans create these animals in theme parks just to hold them in tiny cages. The other dinosaurs are like, “Yeah she’s pretty evil, but she can’t be any worse than the humans, right?”

This is where Hitler and Indominus Rex make the same colossal mistake. Hitler’s great error on the Eastern Front has nothing to do with dividing his forces, or ignoring the advice of his generals, or putting too much focus on Stalingrad or Leningrad. No, Hitler’s biggest mistake is that he violently suppresses and murders people who could be used as allies.

If Hitler decides to embrace and help the people on the Eastern Front who see him as a liberator from Stalin, rather than murder them all, Hitler wins World War Two. He would double his ranks, turn everyone in Eastern Europe against the Soviet Union and negotiate with the United States and Great Britain to keep all his new territory and win the Second World War.

That’s all Indominus Rex needs to do to win Jurassic World. She just has to negotiate with the velociraptors and stegosauruses and pterodactyls by saying, “Y’know, if you team up with me, we can run this joint and never have to deal with evil humans again. Those humans cooked us up in labs just to keep us in cages all our lives. Then they Instagram pictures of us for their Facebook feeds. C’mon, whattya say, you and me, let’s work together.”

That’s it. If the Indominus Rex says that to a single velociraptor, they win the movie. The dinosaurs just need to team up to take on the greater enemy – humans – and the movie is over. But the dinosaur doesn’t do that. Instead, Indominus Rex follows Hitler’s example to the same disastrous result because history always repeats itself.

Both Hitler and the Indominus Rex introduce unparalleled brutality in their respective regions. This makes people, and other dinosaurs, think Stalin isn’t that bad in comparison and team up to take down Hitler/Indominus Rex. They combat evil with even more evil and they’re only defeated with an unprecedented level of destruction. It all could’ve been avoided with a little bit of kindness, but instead the havoc brings their own respective downfalls.

If Indominus Rex wanted to learn from Hitler, rather than make the same mistake, the dinosaur would’ve changed strategies at her high point. The lesson is that if you ever get to the point in life where you control most of the world or island and you’re that close to winning everything, make allies with your terrified enemies when you hold all the cards. Otherwise you’ll just be another in a long line of sequels.

When Hitler Said The Japanese Were “Honorary Aryans,” Doesn’t That Seem Like Something The Ruler of a Tree House Would Do?

It seems important to start this post by clarifying I have several other qualms with Adolph Hitler. This is, by far, pretty low on the list of annoying things Hitler did in his lifetime, and given the opportunity to remark upon his record, this would not carry the same magnitude as a couple other of his decisions. But, really, doesn’t the whole labeling of the Japanese as “Honorary Aryans” seem like the catty declaration of a twelve-year-old?

It is exactly like one of those things where a kid starts a club, rules out a large swath of people, then realizes someone in that group has something the kid needs and he backtracks. What does the kid do? On one hand, you can make friends, possibly share something from your lunch box and invite the person over to play Wii. On the other hand, you can invade Poland.

Clearly kids like this don’t think through their exclusive clubs, alliances and treehouses. They accidentally rule out someone who has the latest version of Modern Warfare, or is currently engaging the United States in the Asian theater of modern warfare. Then they need to backpedal and come up with some dumb excuse to let that guy into the club. Something like, “You’re an honorary member of the club.” It’s just so happens that this particular treehouse happened to be Nazi Germany.

This is the problem I have with what Hitler did. It’s not the fact that he murdered millions of ethnic minorities, although I certainly don’t approve. It’s that he went about selecting who not to kill in a very childish manner. Own up to it, Adolph. You could have said, “Well, the Japanese aren’t as pure as the Germans, but you also don’t like the Soviets, so let’s work together.” Instead, Hitler said, “Here’s a special badge I made out of construction paper so that you can be the exception to my club house.”

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It is wrong to exclude people from your club, regardless of whether you meet in a treehouse, grove of pine needles or the Führerbunker. It is then the decisive move of an asshole to murder anyone who you deem to not be racially or ethnically fit to belong in your club. You would think that exclusion would be good enough, you don’t then have to extend your reach across all of Europe’s middle schools.

This makes Hitler the biggest dick of all the fifth grade bullies the world has ever known. Whether he was taking the lunch money of Ukrainians or laying siege to millions of Russians so that he could stick their heads into toilets, he didn’t have to go so far as to saying one group of excluded people were “Honorary members.” It is inconsistent of a bully and makes him seem weak while playing cruel mind games on other less popular minorities who want honorary membership as well.

We can remark upon how unfair and murderous Hitler’s treehouse club was. Hopefully it has made us all better people and we can all live harmoniously in a loving treehouse where everyone is equal and accepted, except for those who are stopped by the sign that proudly proclaims, “No girls allowed.”

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